Saturday, March 19

We all have regrets; learn to deal with them .The most usually teenage regrets

Teen Talk: Teenhood Today: We all have regrets; learn to deal with them

Regrets. We all have them. They come in many different varieties _ big, small, deep, etc. However, all regrets serve one purpose _ exposing a desire for an event to have never occurred.

There are so many questions that come with regrets. Why do our minds examine single events to regret? Why do we regret at all? Where, in the grand scheme of things, will regrets ever get us?

I definitely wouldn't go as far as saying teenagers regret most out of the entire population, but we have to rank up there. At our age, we aren't exactly the wisest crowd. In fact, it's been scientifically proven that our brains aren't even completely developed. Where does that leave us in the decision-making process? Stagnant, to say the least.

Teens _ have you ever been stuck in a sticky situation where you just cannot decide left from right? Or right from wrong? Now, what sticky situations would those be?

Let's think.

What decisions could a teenager be faced with that they could possibly be indecisive on? Well, there's always that issue about illegal drugs. Or maybe it's shoplifting, or possibly even something involving sex.

There's always something pressing on the life of a teenager. Whether it's our best friends telling us that marijuana is phenomenal, or our parents encouraging the practice of abstinence _ something is always present. It's no wonder we're so indecisive! To most of us, it usually seems like our decisions are already being made for us by those around us. The upsetting reality is that most of the time, those thoughts are true.

Parents, you'll agree with this next one: Teenagers are basically like big, grown-up babies.

I should know, I've been living as one for five years. We know what we want, we just don't always know how to get it. Sometimes, when we don't get it, we throw fits, we scream. But, believe me, we usually initially know what we want.

It only takes an offer for us to question our own judgement. That is the moment that we take with us. It's the moment that your best friend offers you that marijuana, or when your girlfriend asks you if you really want to use a condom.

I mean, you know what you want don't you? But what if your girlfriend doesn't want to use the condom, and you do? What do you do? That is the moment.

These moments are so powerful that, often, they can change the rest of our lives. That moment is like a tiny seed that will eventually blossom into a regret so huge that it seems as if you'll never be able to leave it behind you. Sometimes ... you don't.

However, like the big babies that we are, we learn. Life is full of regrets, of course. It always will be _ regrets are something that we will never escape. However, someone very wise and very beyond my years, once told me that life had no mistakes patched in; everything is merely a learning experience. This is why I say teenagers are such big babies. Once we get out into the social world, and integrate our personalities into several different media, we have to learn to use our legs again. Except this time, instead of merely walking, we have to charge head on into life's decisions. If we can't decide whether to use a condom, how are we ever going to decide whether to buy a house, or a car?

So, regrets happen, of course. How do we deal with them? Well, we have two choices, essentially: get over it or let it get to you. The choice of what we want to do is obvious. We all want to get over what haunts us from our past. Some regrets are tricky, though. Some regrets merely exist because we don't want to let go of them. One of my friend's grandfather's just passed away recently, and what does he truly regret? He regrets never saying goodbye and telling him that he loved him. Of course, there's nothing to do about it now ... but why would he want to let go of his grandfather so easily?

That's the thing about regrets. Most of the time, we can do absolutely nothing about them. That's why it that constant feeling that you've done something irreversible persists. When we regret, we feel as if our control is taken away from us. We have no opportunity to make things right, or at least we're not acting on it, and therefore we feel weak, with no dignity. We're ashamed of our actions.

The natural response would be to try to right whatever one wronged. Sometimes, though, this opportunity does not exist. Then we really are powerless. Or, are we? I mean, what is the point, really, of being negative about something you can't change?

Live in the moment _ don't let the moment live in you

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