What to teach teens about behaving ?

By the time a child becomes a teenager, they should have a basic understanding of how to behave in society, and preferably how to behave in polite society. Unfortunately, the definition of 'polite society' varies from community to community, and from family to family. Even well behaved teens may upset the fussy biddy that lives next door if they are playing a noisy game of football in the street.But perhaps there are some standards of behavior that we can all agree on, so that teenagers have a baseline of acceptable public behavior.

1) Obey the Law
The law may be an ass, but it is the law. There are laws that apply to teens that do not apply to adults that I don't agree with, but the right way to deal with them is not to break them. If a parent or a child feels that strongly about something, they should work to change the law. All laws, logical or not, should be obeyed.

2) Respect for Authority
Figures of authority, in particular teachers and the police, should be respected and obeyed. Yes, there are always individuals who do not live up to their responsible roles, but they should still be respected.

If there are complaints about a teens behavior, don't immediately jump to conclusions - listen to the authority figure, talk to your child and try to get to the root of the problem. Try to be as even handed as possible, but ensure that respect for the authority figure is maintained, whether justified or not.

3) Consideration for Others

The little old lady next door may be a bit of a pain, but if a teen's activity is causing her distress, there should be an attempt at compromise. Take the football game to a friend's house, or at least try to keep the noise down. When a neighbor complains, justified or not, a "I'm sorry you feel that way" should be a minimum response.

4) Respect for Property
This is really an extension of items 1 and 3, but it bears highlighting. People work hard for the things they have, and the abuse or destruction of property is unacceptable. It may be as simple as playing where you have been asked not to, or serious as vandalizing a building, but it is behavior that should to be allowed or tolerated.

5) Mind your Language (and Volume)
Teens have their own version of English, sprinkled with new words, as well as some old favorites, not all of which are considered acceptable in polite company. And often the volume is way too high or way too low (mumbling). This is fine when it's just the kids, but when with others, especially around little ones, teens should be encouraged to at least keep it clean and set a good example. And the elderly deserve a little preferential treatment too.

6) Mind your Manners
Holding doors, using a napkin, saying 'excuse me' after a belch and so on are just basic manners that should be instilled from early childhood. While basic manners may be 'forgotten' when a child becomes a teen, they should be re-encouraged, at least in the presence of adults and impressionable younger children.

Being a teen isn't easy - we demand they balance their need for independence with our need to have an acceptable standard of behavior, often with little or no guidance. Establishing clear guidelines for public behavior, and helping teens to conduct themselves accordingly can help ease the teenage years and make all of our lives much more pleasant.