Teens Caught in a Digital World

Laptops, iPhones, iPads, iPods, Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, Yourspace, IM, Droids, apps, downloads, wireless, 3G, 4G, iTunes, Blackberry, bluetooth, Xbox, Wii…everything about how we engage with and communicate with other people has changed. It can be overwhelming. And perhaps the most dramatic impact of all this “progress” on our teenagers has been the decline of personal relationships.

Texted words, symbols, characters and acronyms have largely replaced verbal conversation for teens today. Kids are spending less time truly interacting and more time “connecting” superficially through digital devices of one kind or another. In fact, I regularly see kids in the same room texting each other, instead of walking over and talking face to face. Now, these devices and other forms of digital entertainment aren’t wrong in and of themselves, but they can become all-consuming to the teen, to the point that nothing else matters.

This generation has never known a world without the Internet, iPods, cell phones and video games. They regard things as normal that we didn’t even dream of when we were teenagers. They are tech-savvy. (Even my five year old granddaughter can scroll through the iPad with skill and speed that puts me to shame!) They know all about communication devices and are highly skilled at instant messaging and social media…but all too often, they know almost nothing about true and meaningful relationships.

A Question of Connections

If you ask a teenager today how many friends they have, they will likely answer you with their Facebook friend count. But all of the increased “digital talking” through social media is not producing the kind of deep friendships and relationships that are so important. It brings to mind the saying “a mile wide and an inch deep.” I’m not saying that using Facebook is wrong or bad, because it is a good way to keep up with people over the miles, but we may need to work with our kids to help them develop real friends and real relationships as well.

Teens at Risk: Dangerous Behaviors

ah... the teenage years. Time to expand your wings a bit and test the boundaries with your parents. Unfortunately, many teens take the "experimental" years too far, resulting in serious physical or emotional damage, or even death. As a parent, it is distressing to read news reports of car accidents, school shootings, or drug experimentation gone wrong. But a close personal relationship with your teen can, in fact, increase the odds that your child will graduate high school with a healthy mind and body. What do you really know about teens at risk?

Of the many risky behaviors in which teens tend to participate, the following are probably the most common:

1. Underage drinking
2. Drug use and abuse
3. Smoking
4. Unprotected sex
5. Excessive dieting and/or eating disorders
6. Unsafe driving (under the influence, on cell phones, or rough-housing with friends)

If you are not certain whether your teens at risk, or if you know someone who has children this age, please read on!

See all 5 photos

Are your Teens at Risk?

Internet Resources about Drinking for you to consider if you have Teens at Risk

• FocusAS: Alcohol and Teen Drinking
  The average age when youth first try alcohol is 11 years for boys and 13 years for girls. The average age at which Americans begin drinking regularly is 15.9 years old. Information on alcohol, teen drinking, and what parents can do.
• Facts for Teens about Drinking
  Article written by doctors about physical and physiological effects of teenage alcohol consumption
• Alcohol and Peer Pressure
  Teen-aimed website packed with information, puzzles and games to educate about underage drinking
• Alcoholism and Teens

Underage Drinking

Do you have teens at risk for underage drinking? In the United States, you must be 21 years old to legally purchase alcohol. Consumption is less regulated, however, and unfortunately, some parents either do not pay attention or even specifically allow their teens to drink alcohol with their friends. Of course, an underage drinker can be arrested for being a "minor in possession" of alcohol, as well as for actually attempting to buy alcoholic products.

There are a number of reasons why teens should not consume alcohol, beyond just the legal aspects. First, teenagers are more likely to binge-drink. Binging is defined as drinking more than 3 alcoholic drinks in a single sitting. A single drink is 12 ounces of beer, 6 ounces of wine, or 1.5 ounces of hard liquor. Binging can lead to intoxication and impaired judgment. Not a good thing with a teenager who thinks he or she already knows everything.

Second, a teenager's brain is still growing and developing. Consumption of alcohol can interrupt and even arrest this development, leading to long term brain damage! While a teen may appear like an adult physically, their bodies are still changing and growing in less obvious ways.

Finally, a drunk teenager is more likely to engage in other risky behaviors, such as unprotected sex or driving (or riding with someone) under the influence. A single drink can be enough to lead to lifelong circumstances that cannot be reversed.

Talk to your teen about these risks and make sure that they understand the long-term effects of drinking.

A mother of a teen at risk - just a little too late!

Heath Ledger: Dead before 30

Drug Use

Teenagers may experiment with drugs, both legal and illegal. Of course, we are all aware of potential teen use of marijuana, cocaine, crack, and methamphetamines, which are particularly dangerous for teens at risk. In addition are the dangers associated with use and abuse of legal medications. Some teens sneak into their parents' medicine cabinets to use drugs prescribed for another person. Others abuse cold and cough medications for a "high."

Parents and educators alike need to apprise teens of the risks of using anydrugs, or even so-called "natural remedies." Combinations of a number of drugs, even those legally prescribed, can be fatal. The sad story of Heath Ledger's death is a grim reminder of this fact.

Illegal drug use, like alcohol, can impair the judgment of the teen user. It can damage developing brains, as well. When taken in combination with alcohol (which itself is a drug), serious side-effects may result. Teens may be tempted by their peers to try seemingly benign drugs like marijuana (pot), thinking that there cannot be any harm considering pervasive use in the 1960s and 70s. These days, smoking pot is considered to be a "starter" drug, which can easily lead to more dangerous use of cocaine and meth.

Teenage Smoking on the Internet

• Why do Kids Smoke?
  Overview of damaging effects of tobacco use and reports of teens' first experiences with smoking
• Reasons Not to Smoke
  A discussion of the many reasons not to smoke, other than health impacts

Smoking and Tobacco Products

Cigarette smoking tends to come and go as far as "coolness." Despite a general overall reduction in the population's use of tobacco, teenagers still light up at an alarming rate. State laws have been enacted since my high school years, making it illegal to purchase cigarettes if you are under 18 years of age. As with alcohol though, there are some stores that do not check IDs frequently enough to prevent teens from acquiring and using tobacco products.

Smoking is highly addictive and dangerous. There are no safe cigarettes! Teens that smoke as few as 100 cigarettes (about 10 packs) can be hooked and find it difficult to quit.

One study showed that "nicotine is the number one entrance drug into other substance abuse problems." Teens who smoke each day are more likely to use other drug substances.

When Teens Have Sex

• How to Talk to Your Teen about Sex
• Why You Should be Concerned About Teen Sex

Oh no... what did she do?

Unprotected Sex

As much as parents would like to ignore this fact, teens often become sexually active before graduating high school. Over the years, media uproar has resulted from some schools making condoms available to the students, on the basis that it would encourage kids to have sex. Whether or not your teen will choose to sleep with their boyfriend or girlfriend, it is best for them to become educated about the transmission of disease and/or potential pregnancy.

Risky behavior includes sexual intercourse without the use of a condom. Teens have a number of misconceptions about sex: what constitutes "sex," how you can or cannot get pregnant, and HIV/AIDS. Unfortunately, their bodies are developed before their minds. If you are not sure your school is providing thorough, accurate information, have a talk with your child. Buy some books and make sure that they understand that merely being on birth control pills will not prevent disease.

The emotional toll that early sexual behavior can have on teenagers can also be damaging. Loss of self-esteem and destructive behaviors can arise when teens start engaging in sex at too early an age.

Where to Go for Help with Anorexia

Helpful Eating Disorder Links

• Signs and Symptoms of Anorexia
  Detailed description of the disease of anorexia and how it can affect your body.
• Bulimia Information
  How to determine if your loved one has bulimia, and differences between bulimia and anorexia.

Extreme Dieting/Eating Disorders

Body image is especially important to teens, as they develop an identify of who they believe themselves to be. Girls and boys alike can fall into dangerous dieting behaviors for a number of reasons: to impress friends or members of the opposite sex, for attention, to "make weight" for certain sports, or simply as a symptom of other underlying emotional issues. When weight loss reaches a certain level, or the child cannot stop obsessing about food and weight, a diagnosis of anorexia nervosa may be warranted. People that suffer from this disease have a distorted body image and may think that they are "fat," when they are instead wasting away. Medical intervention is often necessary. Taken too far, or for too long, teenage girls will stop menstruating, grow additional body hair, and/or lose hair from their heads. Internal organs may start shutting down in extreme cases. It is a very serious disorder that requires immediate attention.

Another common eating disorder is bulimia. This involves forced vomiting and/or use of laxatives after eating to "rid" the body of the food and calories. Bulimia may or may not include binging on food before vomiting. Again, this form of behavior is very dangerous to the health of the teenager. Electrolyte imbalance can result, leading to hospitalization or death. Years of forced vomiting can wear away the enamel of teeth and scar the esophagus. Like anorexia, medical attention is required if your teen has this disorder.

Cell phone use should be restricted to non-driving times

• One Night of Drinking and Driving
  Catastrophic results; an article to review
• The Road to Death
  More information about the risks of teenage drinking and driving

Unsafe Driving Practices

There is a reason why the legal driving age in the United States is 16 years. Many teens are simply not responsible enough to consistently drive a vehicle in a safe manner. A number of states have instituted additional laws to protect teens and the general public from mistakes that may be made by early drivers. These include cell phone bans (some generally applicable, others limited to teens), driving only at certain hours of the day, restricted number of passengers, etc.

Obviously, the biggest risk is that your teen would drink and drive. It is against the law no matter what your age. And it takes much less for a teen to exceed the legal blood alcohol limit (usually .08). As little as one drink and your teen can be over the limit. Of course, teens should not be drinking anyway.

Other risks include those that result from too many kids in one car, and horsing around. Inattentive driving can result in serious, if not fatal, car accidents. A teen needs to stay focused on the road ahead, not play with the car stereo or try to make or take phone calls. Limiting the time that your teen has access to a car, or the circumstances under which they are allowed to drive can help reduce the likelihood of tragedy.

There are varied reasons why teenagers engage in some, or all of these risky behaviors. Every child is unique, and home situations vary. A certain amount of risk-taking is probably just a result of growing up and experimenting. However, teens that consistently put themselves into dangerous situations, or take the behavior to the next level, may be crying out for help. If you see teens at risk, talking to your child is the first step. Seek additional resources through the school counselor, pediatrician, or religious leader, if necessary. Don't just sit by and watch your teenager risk their life. Your teen will thank you - someday

hop u like it :))))))) Arjona

We all have regrets; learn to deal with them .The most usually teenage regrets

Teen Talk: Teenhood Today: We all have regrets; learn to deal with them

Regrets. We all have them. They come in many different varieties _ big, small, deep, etc. However, all regrets serve one purpose _ exposing a desire for an event to have never occurred.

There are so many questions that come with regrets. Why do our minds examine single events to regret? Why do we regret at all? Where, in the grand scheme of things, will regrets ever get us?

I definitely wouldn't go as far as saying teenagers regret most out of the entire population, but we have to rank up there. At our age, we aren't exactly the wisest crowd. In fact, it's been scientifically proven that our brains aren't even completely developed. Where does that leave us in the decision-making process? Stagnant, to say the least.

Teens _ have you ever been stuck in a sticky situation where you just cannot decide left from right? Or right from wrong? Now, what sticky situations would those be?

Let's think.

What decisions could a teenager be faced with that they could possibly be indecisive on? Well, there's always that issue about illegal drugs. Or maybe it's shoplifting, or possibly even something involving sex.

There's always something pressing on the life of a teenager. Whether it's our best friends telling us that marijuana is phenomenal, or our parents encouraging the practice of abstinence _ something is always present. It's no wonder we're so indecisive! To most of us, it usually seems like our decisions are already being made for us by those around us. The upsetting reality is that most of the time, those thoughts are true.

Parents, you'll agree with this next one: Teenagers are basically like big, grown-up babies.

I should know, I've been living as one for five years. We know what we want, we just don't always know how to get it. Sometimes, when we don't get it, we throw fits, we scream. But, believe me, we usually initially know what we want.

It only takes an offer for us to question our own judgement. That is the moment that we take with us. It's the moment that your best friend offers you that marijuana, or when your girlfriend asks you if you really want to use a condom.

I mean, you know what you want don't you? But what if your girlfriend doesn't want to use the condom, and you do? What do you do? That is the moment.

These moments are so powerful that, often, they can change the rest of our lives. That moment is like a tiny seed that will eventually blossom into a regret so huge that it seems as if you'll never be able to leave it behind you. Sometimes ... you don't.

However, like the big babies that we are, we learn. Life is full of regrets, of course. It always will be _ regrets are something that we will never escape. However, someone very wise and very beyond my years, once told me that life had no mistakes patched in; everything is merely a learning experience. This is why I say teenagers are such big babies. Once we get out into the social world, and integrate our personalities into several different media, we have to learn to use our legs again. Except this time, instead of merely walking, we have to charge head on into life's decisions. If we can't decide whether to use a condom, how are we ever going to decide whether to buy a house, or a car?

So, regrets happen, of course. How do we deal with them? Well, we have two choices, essentially: get over it or let it get to you. The choice of what we want to do is obvious. We all want to get over what haunts us from our past. Some regrets are tricky, though. Some regrets merely exist because we don't want to let go of them. One of my friend's grandfather's just passed away recently, and what does he truly regret? He regrets never saying goodbye and telling him that he loved him. Of course, there's nothing to do about it now ... but why would he want to let go of his grandfather so easily?

That's the thing about regrets. Most of the time, we can do absolutely nothing about them. That's why it that constant feeling that you've done something irreversible persists. When we regret, we feel as if our control is taken away from us. We have no opportunity to make things right, or at least we're not acting on it, and therefore we feel weak, with no dignity. We're ashamed of our actions.

The natural response would be to try to right whatever one wronged. Sometimes, though, this opportunity does not exist. Then we really are powerless. Or, are we? I mean, what is the point, really, of being negative about something you can't change?

Live in the moment _ don't let the moment live in you

Teenage love relationship

The Teenage Love Relationship deals with the relationship of love that exists between the teenage groups. In schools the teenagers usually make friends easily and therefore there remains the chance for a young boy/girl to get easily involved in a relationship. The teenagers usually do not consider the various aspects that are associated with the relationship of love and therefore tend to make mistakes regarding the choosing of a girlfriend/boyfriend.

Teenage is that phase of life, when one tries to discover life and makes attempts to unfold the mysteries of life or it could be said that a teenager finds himself/herself trapped in this complex world. A teenager therefore searches for a true friend, with whom he/she can share all his/her troubles or is in need of a friend who would help him/her to cope with the challenges offered by life. Therefore it can be deducted that the root of teen love is friendship and often adulation for friends leads to infatuation.

Love is in fact the aspect due to which romance culminates into a relationship. Love is something which can't be determined or measured by anyone

In most cases it has been observed that the teenage love that does not last a lifetime but it is said that the love that one experiences as a teenager helps her/him choose the right partner in the future. The various factors that a teenager should pay heed to before getting deeply involved in a relationship are:

• See to the fact that he/she pays heed to your problems and finds happiness in your achievements.
Look in to the fact that your girlfriend/boyfriend respects your decisions or opinions. Pay heed to the fact that whether he/she makes the effort to spend time with you. Take notice of the fact that, whether your lover tries to involve you in every sphere of his/her life

s the issue here really one of durability? Whether or not teenage relationships do last is of course a crucial issue – perhaps more so from the point of view of teenagers – but by being preoccupied with this question we ignore an equally important aspect of how teenage relationships significantly contribute to the socialization process of youth. From our own personal experiences and that of our friends’, we would tend to think that teenage relationships generally don’t last since adolescence is just the beginning of an exciting phase of human existence.

Why?

The reasons are simple. Indeed, majority of the romantic relationships that teenagers are involved in inevitably end anyway, by force of circumstance or because of the very nature of young romantic love. Graduating high schoolers eventually leave for their chosen university which can be out of town or out of state to prepare for future careers. Or meeting new people at university replace old friends and relationships nurtured during high school. And then you have the “economics” argument. How can two young people, no matter how in love they are with each other, pursue and sustain their feelings for each other when neither is financially prepared to aspire for the living arrangements that their older counterparts are more capable of doing? Let’s not forget the other factors – hedonism, ambivalence of youth and parental influence. All these make the idea of durability a somewhat precarious gamble.

Teenage Relationships: Forget the Stereotype

We cited the reasons why teenage relationships don’t last. Yet sometimes we fail to take into account that some of them actually do last forever. Just as no two snowflakes are alike, no two teenagers are like. For every hedonist, there is a teen who believes that pleasure in life must come in small doses. For every ambivalent teen, there is one who is incredibly focused and unwavering. And for every teen who likes an open, playing field, there is another who believes in having only one friend and lover. The non-traditional teenager is not a rare species. There are just as many teenagers who exhibit an exceptional degree of maturity that stretches beyond their age. For them, do their relationships last? We’ll have to admit that yes, for some of them, relationships that begin during their teenage years do last. The innocence of young love is magnificent to behold.

Teenagers: What’s Worse – Being One or Having One?

Why is this question relevant at all to the main question, you argue. Let’s not be too quick in dismissing it as a non-issue. One, teenagers lie at the core of teenage relationships, so before we attempt to assess their relationships’ durability or the lack of it, we need to take a good hard look at teenagers. The arrogance they carry around and the over self-confidence they project – which are sometimes annoying to us adults - are but a camouflage of their raw sense of direction. It’s their way of telling us that they’re still groping in the dark and dealing with the most awkward time of their life. Not that they want us to lead them to the right path. Goodness, no. They’re just saying, “ok, we’re lost, we’re confused, these pimples are glaring proof of our insecurities – but don’t you dare think we want you to take over the driver’s seat.” This is why you might have noticed why teenagers like to lock themselves inside their rooms when they’re home or talking on the phone. It’s an unwritten law tantamount to “no trespassing” that we have to decipher. May lightning strike us if we fail to understand their imposed boundaries – in our houses. Logan Pearsall Smith back in 1931 already understood the essence of a teenger, even when sophisticated psychological theory did not exist then: “Don't laugh at a youth for his affectations; he is only trying on one face after another to find a face of his own.” (from his work Afterthoughts, 1931). And what about this from an unknown and disgruntled high school principal: “Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals.” Even Edgar Friedenberg once said that the teenager appears to have replaced Communism as the public’s # 1 controversy and source of foreboding. Without question, teenagers can sometimes be more of a bane than a boon to parents. And as parents, we need to accept the fact that our sons and daughters – and their relationships – serve as part of our continuing education in that arena we call humanity.

Lasting or Fleeting Teenage Relationships - Does Gender Play a Role?

That seems to be the case, according to a study by the American Sociological Association. In an article published in May 2006 in the American Sociological Review, the writer wanted to debunk the view that boys are emotionally shallow or frivolous in their romantic undertakings. Like girls, they too have feelings that shatter easily, making them more vulnerable and fragile when faced with a potential or actual break-up. Behind all that bravado, the article says, “is an unsure adolescent who finds it hard to express emotions that, while new, are nonetheless often sincerely felt.” The article, written by Doctors Peggy Giordano, Monica Longmore and Wendy Manning of Bowling Green State University also stated that “These early relationships matter for boys, as well as for girls, and even though they may not last forever, the young people are taking important lessons from them about how to conduct social relationships, and about themselves and their emerging identities.” Hence the reason for our question in the beginning of this article. It’s not so much the permanence of teenage relationships that we should worry about, it’s how these relationships shape their future personalities. Regrettably, teenage dating and relationships have until now been a neglected area of study by behaviorists because they are regarded as temporary and not lasting very long. Another reason is that there seems to be more concern about sexual patterns among teenagers rather than on the relationship itself. Giordano believes that since 80% of American adolescents have had a romantic relationship by age 18, focus must be on what these relationships mean to them and how their romantic partnerships in the future will be shaped. The researchers learned that boys are more shy and more awkward about communicating their feelings. Girls, on the other hand, show an impressive display of their decision-making capabilities and hence are more prepared for emotional involvement. They have no qualms about talking to their close friends about their interactions with boys, hence giving them a broader perspective and a keener sensitivity than boys. Parents are often worried about their teens’ involvement in dating relationships and sexual activity. Given the potential consequences and risks, their concerns are perfectly understandable. At the same time, parents need to be aware that preaching restraint and hoping that kids will not fall in love and become sexually active until marriage, is naive at best and dangerous at worst. Teens need our guidance and support even when they behave in ways we do not approve of. While a great deal of research looks at the negative consequences of teen dating and sexual activity, researchers from the University of California-Davis have been looking into the positive aspects of teen romance. Researchers Bill McCarthy and Teresa Casey studied data collected in 1994 from approximately 20,000 students in grades 7 to 12. They also reviewed data from follow-up interviews in 1996. What they found was that, for kids that had already been involved with the law, romantic love had a deterrent effect. The researchers hypothesized that romantic love strengthens social bonds that discourage offending. According to McCarthy & Casey, romantic love “discourages crime by reminding people to consider the reactions of those to whom they are attached when contemplating a crime”. McCarthy and Casey also looked at teen sex and crime. While previous research had shown a positive association between the two, McCarthy and Casey discovered that it depends on whether or not sex takes place within a romantic relationship. That is, they found that sexual intercourse in the context of a romantic relationship eliminates the oft-cited association between teen sexual activity and crime. However, as seen in past research, teens in non-romantic sexual relationships had higher rates of criminal activity. These results were consistent with 2006 research by Corey Keyes that showed that adolescents who had strong attachments to others had decreased levels of depression, conduct disorder and drug use. While McCarthy and Casey focused on the positive effects of teen romance, their research underscores the positive impact of attachment and close relationship in general. Close relationships can take many forms including romantic ties, friendships, and parent-child bonds. In all forms, connections should be seen as a protective factor for your children.

What to teach teens about behaving ?

By the time a child becomes a teenager, they should have a basic understanding of how to behave in society, and preferably how to behave in polite society. Unfortunately, the definition of 'polite society' varies from community to community, and from family to family. Even well behaved teens may upset the fussy biddy that lives next door if they are playing a noisy game of football in the street.But perhaps there are some standards of behavior that we can all agree on, so that teenagers have a baseline of acceptable public behavior.

1) Obey the Law
The law may be an ass, but it is the law. There are laws that apply to teens that do not apply to adults that I don't agree with, but the right way to deal with them is not to break them. If a parent or a child feels that strongly about something, they should work to change the law. All laws, logical or not, should be obeyed.

2) Respect for Authority
Figures of authority, in particular teachers and the police, should be respected and obeyed. Yes, there are always individuals who do not live up to their responsible roles, but they should still be respected.

If there are complaints about a teens behavior, don't immediately jump to conclusions - listen to the authority figure, talk to your child and try to get to the root of the problem. Try to be as even handed as possible, but ensure that respect for the authority figure is maintained, whether justified or not.

3) Consideration for Others

The little old lady next door may be a bit of a pain, but if a teen's activity is causing her distress, there should be an attempt at compromise. Take the football game to a friend's house, or at least try to keep the noise down. When a neighbor complains, justified or not, a "I'm sorry you feel that way" should be a minimum response.

4) Respect for Property
This is really an extension of items 1 and 3, but it bears highlighting. People work hard for the things they have, and the abuse or destruction of property is unacceptable. It may be as simple as playing where you have been asked not to, or serious as vandalizing a building, but it is behavior that should to be allowed or tolerated.

5) Mind your Language (and Volume)
Teens have their own version of English, sprinkled with new words, as well as some old favorites, not all of which are considered acceptable in polite company. And often the volume is way too high or way too low (mumbling). This is fine when it's just the kids, but when with others, especially around little ones, teens should be encouraged to at least keep it clean and set a good example. And the elderly deserve a little preferential treatment too.

6) Mind your Manners
Holding doors, using a napkin, saying 'excuse me' after a belch and so on are just basic manners that should be instilled from early childhood. While basic manners may be 'forgotten' when a child becomes a teen, they should be re-encouraged, at least in the presence of adults and impressionable younger children.

Being a teen isn't easy - we demand they balance their need for independence with our need to have an acceptable standard of behavior, often with little or no guidance. Establishing clear guidelines for public behavior, and helping teens to conduct themselves accordingly can help ease the teenage years and make all of our lives much more pleasant.